I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Randomize
