put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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