I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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