I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
