My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
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