There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
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