Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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