You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
