you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
