There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Randomize
