No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
