Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
