Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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