one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
