I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
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