You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
