turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
