3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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