so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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