WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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