It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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