Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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