i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
