Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
