Please don't use social media to get back at me.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
