Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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