I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
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