He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
