im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize