I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
