YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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