He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
