I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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