Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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