Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
