i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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