She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Randomize
