Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize