Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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