I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
