I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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