I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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