I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
