HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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