Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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