Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
