I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Randomize
