It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
