After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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