I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Randomize
