Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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