Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
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