even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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