My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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