just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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