this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Randomize
