yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
