Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
