the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
